


Reflections

by diabla616



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-26
Updated: 2012-08-26
Packaged: 2017-11-12 23:15:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/496749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diabla616/pseuds/diabla616
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce's reflection hasn't been his own since the accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lynndyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynndyre/gifts).



When Tony first suggested it Bruce had thought he was joking. Because, okay, while _"come and see Stark Tower"_ was potentially the invitation one extended to fellow scientists these days, Bruce is fairly certain that _"come and live in Stark Tower"_ was still _not._

So when he arrives at the tower he's still mostly expecting this to be a big joke, Stark is famous for his sense of humour after all.

"Good afternoon Doctor Banner," an English voice greets him, "you have arrived a little late, but Mr Stark is expecting you."

Bruce's memories of the battle are few and far-between, mostly buried underneath the Other Guy's rage, but one sparks now: _Standing in this very spot, second-guessing himself as he sees the true superheroes already at work. Then Captain Rogers nods at him and shouts into his communicator, "Banner's here Stark, just like you said."_

Well. Perhaps not a joke then. "Mr Stark will meet you in the first floor foyer," Tony's AI tells him, "please follow the lighting and I will direct you to the correct room."

"Thank you JARVIS."

The Other Guy stays quiet during the exchange, which is ...intriguing. He doesn't usually like surprises.

Tony is waiting for him, full of nervous energy as usual. He's fiddling with a slim transparent tablet, and muttering to himself, though he stops as soon as Bruce enters. "Dr Banner! Welcome to Stark Tower. I'll give you the grand tour, we have," Tony checks his watch, "two hours. Okay; come and see Candyland."

Tony is more tactile then Bruce is used to, more tactile perhaps than anyone has been since the accident. A handshake isn't so much a handshake; with Tony it's an arm around his shoulders, a hand resting over his own for slightly too long, a flurry of casual touches. How much Bruce enjoys this is a revelation, one he isn't particularly comfortable with.

Tony's a busy man, and Bruce still a little too stunned by everything to ask questions, so the first few floors of Stark Tower pass by in a blur, overshadowed a little by Tony's seemingly all-encompassing enthusiasm. Bruce figures he can always ask JARVIS for directions if he needs them. The floors he's seen so far are mostly intact, a fact which Bruce is thankful for - he's used to the Other Guy causing much more of a mess, and Stark Tower looks expensive.

They're on the tenth floor (though it might be the eleventh Bruce has lost track, he's mostly just been listening to Tony talk) before the full extent of the damage is evident. Most of this floor is rubble, and there's a deep crack in the floor, which Bruce recognises as being the Other Guy's handiwork. He can feel just how _pleased_ the Other Guy is about it too. All Bruce feels is guilt.

Tony waves away his apology with another flippant remark though, "So jolly green did a little remodeling here. It'll be fixed soon. Pepper is dealing with it. You showed up just in time though, it could have been a lot worse than a little rebuilding."

It could have, Bruce knows; he might not remember much of the battle, but he _does_ know that the Other Guy was heavily involved. And whether he agrees with Tony's assessment of the situation or not, he's smart enough to realise when Tony is actually trying to thank him.

\--**--

"Fifth floor is all yours, big guy, make yourself at home. Anything you want then ask JARVIS. Or Pepper, Pepper's good too. Don't ask me, they know the place better than me. I just built it."

Bruce nods politely, he's learnt even in the short time he's spent with Tony Stark, that it's easier to let him finish talking. Once Tony leaves, however, Bruce stares at the door to his new apartment, and wonders how exactly he's going to be able to make himself at home here, when he's never before been able to make himself a home _anywhere._

His room is ...modern. Bruce doesn't really know how else to describe it. Most of the walls are glass; Stark Industries' shatter resistant light-regulating glass, but glass nonetheless. Not the best environment for the Other Guy to make an appearance in, though Tony has assured him the glass is stronger than it looks. _"Sort of like you, big guy",_ he'd added, with a wink.

What is a little more unnerving is the excess of mirrors, littered throughout the rooms he's been allocated. It's a side effect of the accident he's never told anyone, but Bruce hasn't seen his own reflection in years. Every mirror, every reflective surface shows the monster he can be, not the scientist he was. Perhaps the Other Guy's reflection shows Bruce, but he hasn't thought to test that theory. Reflective surfaces don't last long enough around the Hulk to try, anyway.

It's stifling, seeing the Other Guy everywhere he looks. Bruce can feel his hard-earned control slipping every time he turns a corner. Tony can't have known, of course - Bruce hasn't ever had anyone he'd think to share such information with. Now though he's torn; Tony has been kind, accepting. He's the first person in years, perhaps _ever_ to have noticed _Bruce_ , and not the Other Guy, and part of Bruce wants to share everything he knows about the Hulk with the one person who isn't afraid. There's another part of him though, small and selfish, and far away from the Other Guy's influence, which wants to make sure that Tony Stark never realises what Bruce Banner's reflection really looks like.

Bruce lasts two days before he removes all the mirrors in his own quarters. He can hear the Other Guy clearly enough without having to see him too.

\--**--

After weeks of disagreements and bickering it isn't raised voices, but rather the absence of them which alerts Bruce to the fact that something is wrong. He's stayed clear of everything until now; partly because the Other Guy doesn't like any argument he can't solve with his fists and Bruce doesn't like any argument full stop, but also because this is Tony's house, Tony's relationship, and Bruce doesn't want to intrude in either any more than he has just by being here. Tony sounds subdued though, none of his usual exuberance in his tone, which feels _wrong_ and Bruce feels the Other Guy's curiosity prickle inside his skull. Tony's speaking so quietly that Bruce has to strain to hear him, though he's only one room away from Bruce's lab, which must be a first for Tony, he thinks. All traces of humour disappear, however, once he hears what's being said.

"Pepper, Pepper, no no don't go. I can change."

"No Tony," Pepper answers, and Bruce thinks she just sounds _tired_ , "you can't."

"But you can't leave me. I even know what I'm doing wrong now. That's a step, right?"

"I'm not leaving Stark Industries Tony," Pepper replies, "I'm not even leaving you, not really. You wouldn't last a day, I know. I'm just ...redefining our relationship. I'll go to Malibu for a few weeks."

"Pepper."

"I'll be back Tony."

Bruce can hear the shift in his tone when Tony decides to accept the inevitable, when he decides that this cause is not worth fighting.

"Yeah, OK," he says, "it's for the best I guess. I'm not the easiest person to- never mind, you know this, of course you do. JARVIS, please make sure the Malibu house is ready for Ms Potts' arrival."

Bruce can feel the sting of those words even from the safety of his lab.

"Very well, sir."

There's a hint of disapproval in JARVIS' tone, but Bruce isn't surprised. So few people approve of Tony's methods anyway, and if the AI Tony _created_ is one of them, then it just makes Bruce's heart ache for him a little.

"Thank you JARVIS," Pepper says, "I'll leave tomorrow. Until then, is there anything else you need, Mr Stark?"

"No," Tony says, "nothing at all. Now if you don't mind, I'm very busy."

It's a familiar tactic, and one Tony's probably used a million times before; push people away before they get close enough to do harm. Pepper has been the exception to this rule for so long that there's no wonder Tony's pushing harder this time. People don't generally like Tony Stark well enough to pose any threat.

The day Pepper leaves Stark Tower, the Other Guy destroys the entire eleventh floor R&D lab.

\--**--

Pepper stays in Malibu for two weeks. Tony reacts to this accordingly; with loud music, long hours in his lab, and copious amounts of alcohol. Bruce brings Tony his meals, takes away his alcohol, and tries to enforce some semblance of a schedule onto Tony's days, with varying degrees of success. When Pepper returns tensions run high once more. It's clear though, even to Bruce, that whatever was between them is now damaged beyond repair, however much they might both wish it wasn't.

It isn't an easy adjustment, by any means; just as things were starting to settle, Bruce finds himself once again becoming intimately familiar with Tony's drinking habits. It's not easy by any means, but Bruce is good at coping. Years of living with the Other Guy have left him well-equipped to deal with Tony Stark, even on his bad days.

"I'm difficult you know," Tony tells him one day, and Bruce frowns at the empty bottle of tequila in his hand, "very difficult. 'S why Pepper left. You should probably leave too. The Hulk probably doesn't enjoy this too much, huh?" He takes a step forward, but stumbles, Bruce catches him. "Hey there big guy! Maybe help me get to bed before you leave though, okay?"

Bruce sighs, "I'm not going anywhere Tony." That earns him a smile from Tony, one Bruce isn't sure he could stand to look at for too long, especially not with Tony drunk, and pliant, and leaning against him _just right._

In the morning, when he's sober once more, Tony says nothing. Bruce isn't stupid; he knows exactly how to read that response.

And, though it takes time, eventually it starts to _work_ , whatever it is they have. Months pass without an appearance from the Other Guy (except the first day, when he objected loudly and very physically to the volume of Tony's music. Tony has since turned it down a little.) Tony makes no further concessions to the Other Guy, and Bruce doesn't ask for any.

It's very close to being everything he's ever wanted. Even if sometimes he catches a hint of the spark between Tony and Pepper, even if it is just a shadow of what used to be. On those days it's easier to retreat to his room. Its easier there, where his reflection can't remind him that Pepper has thrown away something he's never going to get a chance to have.

\--**--

"Honey, I'm home," Tony's voice echoes around his bedroom, and Bruce fumbles the tablet he's working on, watching the cracks work their way across the screen as it hits the floor. Tony hasn't ever been into his rooms - Bruce has always managed to steer him away and into one of the many labs in the tower, but this time it seems unavoidable. There's no time to change anything either, which means that Tony is going to notice exactly what Bruce has done here.

Also, Tony's too smart not to realise what he's seeing; now Tony will see just how damaged he is, just how deep the corruption runs. And then he'll make Bruce leave. This is it, Bruce thinks, this is why he doesn't let himself _want_. The Other Guy doesn't take disappointment well.

Tony looks striking in his suit, a sharp contrast from the faded jeans and T-shirt combination Bruce is so used to. He's pulling off his tie as he walks into Bruce's room, then stops in his tracks once he notices what Bruce has done.

"Did you miss me, big guy? Wow, been doing a little decorating of your own I see. Hey JARVIS, do we have any paint?"

Bruce frowns at this. It isn't the reaction he's been expecting from Tony.

"Paint, sir?" JARVIS asks, in the same, long-suffering tone he uses for all of Tony's stranger requests.

"Paint, yeah, you heard me. Poster paint, spray paint, whichever you prefer JARVIS. Just something we could use to get rid of a couple of reflective surfaces."

"Tony, what-" Bruce isn't really sure what to make of this. The Other Guy isn't trying to put in an appearance just yet, which is a blessing, but Bruce himself is still utterly baffled by Tony's non-reaction to everything. There's no way that Tony has missed the significance of the heavy black cloth covering all of Bruce's mirrors.

"You know, after Afghanistan I couldn't look in a mirror for weeks. Something about the way the glow from this-" Tony taps on the arc reactor, and pauses while the the metallic ring echoes around the room,"reflected back from any mirror just gave me a headache. Pepper thought it was stress, so did ...lots of people actually. I had every mirror in this place, and the house in Malibu covered in anti-glare coating. Still it took me about a month to realise that it wasn't the reactor itself, but what I saw which was the problem. I was still looking in the mirror and seeing Tony Stark: Merchant of Death."

Bruce is stunned, "how did you stop seeing him?" He asks.

When Tony turns to look at him again, the look in his eyes makes Bruce's heart ache a little for him. It's gone in an instant though, quickly replaced by the typical Stark brashness. "What makes you think I ever stopped seeing him?"

Bruce doesn't know what to do now, Tony doesn't accept sympathy, he knows, but he's also fairly sure that it's not his place to give the type of consolation Tony _does_ accept. Instead he settles for asking weakly, "So how do you deal with it?"

"Ignore it, mostly," Tony replies, "Iron Man helps with that, of course, but mostly I just take it as my penance, until I've fixed everything I broke."

JARVIS chooses now to interrupt before Bruce has any worthy response to that.

"I have paint, sir. What colour would you like?"

At this Tony's smile morphs into the smirk Bruce is more used to seeing on him;

"Red and gold please JARVIS," he says, "let's give Bruce even more _me_ to look at."


End file.
